


The Cake is Not a Lie: An Asexual Glee Love Story

by setos_puppy



Category: Glee
Genre: Asexual Kurt Hummel, Asexual Sam Evans, Asexuality, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setos_puppy/pseuds/setos_puppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is troubled. Kurt talks to Sam. Sam has the same troubles. They bond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cake is Not a Lie: An Asexual Glee Love Story

Kurt eyed the pamphlets his father had given him, sitting innocently next to his Macbook, shining their bright, happy slogans and ridiculous titles at him. Proudly proclaiming  _it’s okay to be gay!_  or  _bi-curiosity is a natural part of growing up!_. Filled with smiling faces and terrifyingly explicit, rather disgusting information.  
  
  
Who would want to put  _that_   **there**? Why?  
  
  
Blinking and turning his head to the screen as his computer chimed at him, a flashing box for a Skype call popping up onto his screen, Kurt frowned. It was probably Blaine. At the moment he didn’t quite feel like talking to Blaine. Not after the conversation they had earlier in the day. Blaine was pushy and rude and the conversation with his dad less than an hour earlier hadn’t improved his mood any. Clicking on the flashing symbol, Kurt rose a brow when he saw Sam’s screen name flash up and quickly clicked accept.  
  
  
He tried to keep in contact with all of his friends from McKinley, but since Sam had gotten with Santana, he had been pretty hard to get a hold of.  
  
  
The screen blinked before Kurt was greeted with the familiar view of Sam’s bedroom, a tasteful shade of almost burnt orange, covered in various movie, TV and band posters. And Sam’s computer chair, which was unoccupied.  
  
  
“Sam?”  
  
  
“Just a sec!” Sam’s voice sounded muffled, but he dropped into the chair pretty quickly, adjusting a loose shirt on his torso and smiled. “Hey.”  
  
  
Kurt smiled back. “Hey, what’s up? It’s been a while.” He swiveled his chair a little, picking up his apple cinnamon tea and took a long sip, sighing as he set the mug down on the table adjacent to his computer desk.  
  
  
“Yeah, things have been crazy, I haven’t seen you since the party and -- what’s wrong? You seem upset.”  
  
  
“It’s...” Kurt shook his head and raked his fingers through his hair, shifting in his seat so one of his legs was curled under his body while he pulled the other to his chest. “It’s stupid.”  
  
  
“No it’s not. It isn’t stupid if it’s you it -- hang on.” Sam moved from his chair and Kurt heard some muffled talking before Sam returned to his chair with a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of root beer. “Sorry, mom made too much; her movie club is over. Anyway... What was I saying?” Sam took a sip of his root beer. “Oh yeah! It isn’t stupid. No matter what it is, if you think that it’s important, I’ll listen. I’m your guy, remember?”  
  
  
There had been an incident with a  _very_  drunk Sam at Rachel’s grabbing Kurt and repeating “I’m your bro” over and over until Santana dragged him away. Needless to say, it amused Kurt.  
  
  
“Yeah. It’s just... It’s Blaine.”  
  
  
“Blaine? What’s wrong? Is he hurting you? Did he try and do something? Oh my god, he got a girl pregnant!”  
  
  
“What? No.” Kurt laughed a little when Sam breathed a sigh of relief and took another sip of his tea, his hands wrapping around the mug as he rested it on his knee. “He’s just... He’s kind of pushy when it comes to sexy things. We tried to do this routine, and I was trying to look sexy and he said it looked like I was having gas pain. I just... I...” Kurt drummed his fingers against the mug. “I tried to tell him that I wasn’t into sex, but that I liked romance, but he kind of seemed to brush me off and tried to _push_. I ended up asking him to leave. And my dad just tried to give me The Talk. He brought all these pamphlets home and I read them and now I’m horrified.”  
  
  
“That is kinda pushy. But, I get what you mean. Santana is pretty forward too, you know? She’s very touchy; touchy in places I don’t want her to be touching right now. And she keeps sending me texts that are... sexual. I mean, I don’t even... I don’t even know, man. I mean, I’ve googled it before, but I can’t sit at the computer and read very long, my brain gets tired. I mean, is it possible to just love someone and not have to think about that?”  
  
  
Kurt laughed lightly and pushed his chair back and forth lightly. “Wouldn’t that be nice.” Kurt took a long sip of his tea before putting the mug aside again. “Too bad you’re straight.”  
  
  
Sam gave a clipped laugh and brushed the hair flopping into his eyes away as he looked away from the screen and took a long sip of his bottle. “Yeah...”  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Kurt had tossed and turned for a good two hours before falling asleep that night. His mind reeling and Sam’s words echoing in his head. Finally he tried to shut his brain off and finally rolled onto his stomach, pulled his covers over his head, and fallen asleep.  
  
  
Kurt laid in bed for twenty minutes that morning, listening to the sound of Finn snore as he spent his Saturday sleeping in late before finally pulling himself out of bed. Kurt kind of felt like moping around the house in his pyjamas feeling sorry for himself, but also knew it was a stupid decision. So he showered and dressed in a pair of flattering jeans and a sweater before making himself breakfast. He worked on his AP bio homework before finally booting up his Macbook and clicking open Google.  
  
  
Absently, nervously, Kurt ran his fingers over the keyboard, licking his lips and trying to come up with a search term. Finally, he gave up and opened wikipedia and started randomly searching. After a while, several long, useless pages later, he found one entitled  _Affectional orientation_. He read the article, which lead him to the one on  _asexuality_.  
  
  
Kurt sat back and read the article, the links provided, the forums, further pages, blogs and watched every single video he stumbled across in awe.  
  
  
It had a  _name_.  
  
  
~*~  
  
From: khummel  
To: qb5evans  
Subject: I think I found something  
  
 _I’ve enclosed a bunch of links to various videos and websites I think you should watch and read. Let me know what you think._  
  
  
From: qb5evans  
To: khummel  
Subject: Re: I think I found something  
  
  
 _Why do tehse people in the videos keep saying ist a choice!?! im getting mad._  
  
  
From: khummel  
To: qb5evans  
Subject: Re: Re: I think I found something  
  
  
 _I found that annoying too. But the articles, if you could read through them, are really interesting. There are a load of personal stories. It has a name, Sam. It has a name! I’m not broken or sick! I’m not making it all up._  
  
  
From: qb5evans  
To: khummel  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: I think I found something  
  
  
 _Can we meet up this week to talk?_  
  
  
From: khummel  
To: qb5evans  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: I think I found something  
  
  
 _Tuesday at 5 sound good? I can meet you at the Starbucks by the garage._  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Kurt was waiting outside of the Starbucks, idly texting back and forth between Blaine and Mercedes while he waited for Sam. He felt light-hearted and giddy. Things were finally starting to make sense and look up. He was glad he had Sam to talk to; Sam who understood. Even if it was from a hetero-romantic point of view.  
  
  
When Sam arrived, he looked rundown, his hands were shoved into the bulky winter coat he was wearing and he looked crestfallen. Kurt put his iPhone away instantly, looking at Sam with a concerned face.  
  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
  
“Santana broke up with me.”  
  
  
Kurt wrapped his arms around Sam in a hug, smiling when the other boy pulled him close and they held each other tight. Sam was a pretty awesome hugger - tight but not too tight, and he was just the right height for Kurt to rest his head on Sam’s shoulder. Kurt stepped back after a few long moments and gave Sam a wan smile.  
  
  
“Want something to drink? My treat.”  
  
  
Sam nodded and returned the smile. “That sounds great.”  
  
  
They headed inside and waited in line. Kurt decided to indulge and get a caramel macchiato while Sam ordered a white chocolate mocha. They sat down in a quiet corner and enjoyed their drinks and Sam ate a cranberry orange scone. Kurt stirred his coffee with a stir-stick, his mind drifting.  
  
  
“God, I can’t believe she broke up with me. Over something so stupid.”  
  
  
Kurt broke off a piece of Sam’s scone and slowly chewed on it, thinking. He wiped his fingers on his napkin and took a long sip of his macchiato. “Some people think sex is important.”  
  
  
“I guess. I just thought... I don’t know. I thought maybe it wouldn’t matter. Or that she would care enough...” Sam sighed heavily and took a few long, deep swallows of his drink before lowering the cup.  
  
  
Kurt reached across the table top and rested his hand atop Sam’s and squeezed in a reassuring manner. Sam looked up at him through his lashes and bangs and gave a half smile and let his fingers brush against the back of Kurt’s wrist.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
They end up going to see a movie after the coffee. Nothing spectacular. A silly comedy that they both end up enjoying. There isn’t much to think about; Sam talked about Santana at the coffee shop, Kurt listened. Kurt talked about Blaine, Sam listened. It was nice and friendly and completely laid back and casual.  
  
  
As Sam walked him home, Kurt asked about his classes. He was glad to hear that Sam was doing well in his classes, before he transferred to Dalton, Sam had asked Kurt to tutor him in history. Kurt talked about Dalton. They talked about their excitement of Regionals coming up, but didn’t talk about the fact they were actually going to end up competing against one another. And of course, they didn’t talk about songs.  
  
  
“I hope we can meet up again soon, hopefully after next week we’ll be able to do something. Competition season will be over for one of us and --”  
  
  
“Can I kiss you?”  
  
  
Kurt turned from his door, one of his hands still plunged in his bag and looked at Sam. “What?”  
  
  
“I mean, I don’t know if you’re completely opposed to affection. The websites said it was a pretty fluid spectrum and I didn’t want to just dive in and...”  
  
  
Kurt smiled softly, peering up at Sam before he slowly took hold of Sam’s hand and squeezed it again. “You can kiss me.”  
  
  
As Sam ducked his head down, Kurt’s breath caught in his throat and his heart started to pound. He pushed up a little on his toes and let his eyes shut as Sam’s lips met his own. It was chaste, but it lingered a little longer than a peck before Sam lifted his head back and Kurt lowered himself off the balls of his feet.  
  
  
Kurt hummed in the back of his throat and smiled up at Sam. “Why didn’t you just say you were biromantic?”  
  
  
Sam laughed a little. “You never asked.”  
  
  
Kurt smiled back before raising a hand in a wave and turned to open his door. He stepped inside and watched as Sam made his way down the street before locking the door and heading up to his room with a smile on his face.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Dalton lost at Regionals.  
  
  
Blaine was taking Jeff out on a date.  
  
  
Kurt and Blaine agreed they were still the best of friends and Kurt threatened Jeff quite viciously with a monkey wrench and an air drill. The blond Warbler had laughed but promised to take care of Blaine. In return, Blaine had threatened Sam quite inventively with a piano bench.  
  
  
In the end, Kurt had found out that his father hadn’t had the full tuition pay for Dalton, and he had to transfer back to McKinley. Though Kurt was sure he would miss the Warblers terribly, and he was grateful for all of his new friends and for all Dalton had done for him. McKinley was home. It had Mercedes and Finn, and now Sam. It also meant he could wear his fabulous ensembles again.  
  
  
All was right with the world.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
“What are you making?” Sam asked, voice low in Kurt’s ear as he slid behind the brunette and rested a chin on Kurt’s shoulder to peer down at the pan.  
  
  
“Linguine with chicken, vegetables and rose sauce.”  
  
  
“It smells really good. Did you make garlic bread too?”  
  
  
“Mmhmm.”  
  
  
Sam coming over every Wednesday was quickly becoming a tradition. Glee was staying late every Wednesday and Friday to prepare for Nationals and Sam’s mom worked until late on Wednesdays, and Finn usually helped at the garage until it closed at six. Kurt enjoyed the hour of solace he had with his boyfriend before everyone tromped through the house, demanding food and making cooing noises (if you were Carole) or glares (if you were Burt) in Kurt and Sam’s direction.  
  
  
“Can you pass me the basil? It’s the one in the red container.”  
  
  
Sam reached for the container and pulled it close before handing it to Kurt. He watched as Kurt turned off the pan and moved it from the heat before he pulled a few basil leaves from the container, ripped them into tiny pieces and sprinkled them over the pasta before stirring it.  
  
  
“We’re home!” Burt’s voice rang from the front hall before less than fifteen seconds later Kurt heard him heading upstairs to take a quick shower. Finn thundered up the stairs too, heading for the other bathroom he and Kurt shared.  
  
  
“I’ll help you set the table,” Sam offered, pulling away from Kurt to grab five plates.  
  
  
Kurt portioned out the pasta, salad and garlic bread on each plate before Sam carried them to the table and set them down. Kurt was portioning the extras into a tupperware containers when Carole entered the kitchen. She greeted both boys before setting drinks on the table and commended Kurt on a delicious looking dinner. Next came Finn, still drippping wet from the shower, he nodded to both boys before throwing himself into his chair and taking bites of his salad with his fingers when he was sure no one was looking. Burt still had to finish his shower, after all.  
  
  
“Want the last bite?” Kurt offered, holding up a forkful of the last remnants of pasta from the pan, his hand carefully cupped underneath to prevent any spillage.  
  
  
“Sure.” Sam ducked his head down and took the last bite, he swallowed it and pressed his mouth against Kurt’s softly. “You should become a chef.”  
  
  
“You’re just saying that so I’ll cook for you.”  
  
  
Sam grinned against Kurt’s mouth, his hands settling on Kurt’s waist. “Maybe.”  
  
  
“Dude, come on guys, get a room.”  
  
  
Kurt looked over at Finn, giggling as Sam pulled him against his body and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Oel ngati kameie.”  
  
  
Kurt smiled into Sam’s shoulder as he turned into him, snuggling against him. “Melon le.”


End file.
